Sunday 8/13

What a rollercoaster of a week.  It has truly been a hurry up and wait kind of week, and our patience has continuously been tested.  Ever since the doctors told us there was a possibility of Madelynn coming home, we have been so excited, followed by let down. 

Those of you that know me well know I connect with music.  It's like my therapy.  I'm the girl that has a stressful day, warms up a bubble bath and turns up my sad song list to feel at peace again.  Well, there have been so many songs that have run through my head, but the song that has been in my head this past week has been Hills and Valleys by Tauren Wells:

I've walked among the shadows
You wiped my tears away
And I've felt the pain of heartbreak
And I've seen the brighter days
And I've prayed prayers to heaven from my lowest place
And I have held the blessings
God, you give and take away

No matter what I have, Your grace is enough
No matter where I am, I'm standing in Your love

On the mountains, I will bow my life
To the one who set me there
In the valley, I will lift my eyes to the one who sees me there
When I'm standing on the mountain top, didn't get there on my own
When I'm walking through the valley, no I am not alone
You're God of the hills and valleys
Hills and Valleys
God of the hills and valleys
And I am not alone

We really do have to learn to trust God throughout this whole process...through all of the ups and downs.  I've gotten so frustrated when I couldn't get her to drink the last drops of her bottle and we've had to start over again with the counting.  Jason and I both KNEW she could do it on her own, I would just get frustrated if I felt like part of that was my error in giving her the bottle (I mean seriously, how do you hold a bottle sideways and get those last drops into the nipple of the bottle?  Impossible).

After a couple days of being anal and calling or asking after EVERY FEED, a new song is in my head...Coming Home by Skylar Grey (and let's be real, the remix with P Diddy is better...I never said I was perfect lol):

I'm coming home, I'm coming home
Tell the world I'm coming home
Let the rain wash away
All the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits...

Madelynn finally completed eight bottles in a row yesterday.  As of this morning, they have taken her feeding tube out and set her potential discharge date for the 15th (one day before her "month" birthday)!!!!  She still has to complete the next eight bottles without problem (well, at this point, now five) and then we can take her HOME.  There's more fun that starts once she gets here, but she can finally be home.  I can finally feel like I will be a 100% mom instead of a 50% mom.  I can be the one taking care of my babies...both of them.  We can eat dinner as a family.  I can hold her for more than once every three hours for a "touch time."  We CAN....NOT...WAIT.

(Raise your hand if you are tube free)

Lift some prayers up for our family that everything continues to go smoothly so we can take our girl home.  She's passed the hour and a half car seat test with no alarms going off, and we room in with her at the hospital tomorrow night if all goes well.  We are so close we can taste it...and I'm pretty sure we've never felt so happy, nervous, and excited all at the same time.  Jason keeps saying "I don't know what to feel yet."  And that is exactly true...please pray our excitement is real this time.

(NBD...just rocking that car seat test)

(Over this already...can we go home yet?)